My entire life, I have been fascinated by this particular subject: sex.
When I say "my entire life," I kinda mean it.
Guess why? Some friends would say, "that's because you're Scorpio." I probably would say that myself, in casual conversations. But truth be told, the main reason is: in my early years, sex was a massive secret that I shouldn't talk nor hear about.
I remember watching movies with my family and my mom covering my eyes, every now and again, for a particular scene. I always knew it was sex. I couldn't see it, but oh well, could I hear the actors moaning (wondering why I'm very much into blindfolding people nowadays)! And every time, it sounded quite great, to be honest (no shit we grow to crave what we can't get).
Many years after, here I am, a sex worker, writing and talking about sex.
However, yesterday, a friend messaged me, "Val, I think you've been shadowbanned on Instagram..."
In case you don't know, that means: if you are not already following my account, your’re not gonna make it to find me on the search tool (gotta type the full name or else I’ll never appear on the suggested accounts), which is quite frustrating when social media is a work tool.
Recently, I had several "insta-stories" put down, all of them adequately censored according to the then-guidelines (I make money out of nudity, why would I give it away for free?). Some of those stories were old, from weeks before. That got me spinning because it meant it wasn't a hater's report. I couldn't understand what was happening and why my posts were put down, since: no nudity. Until I finally saw the new guidelines, and everything made sense.
As a matter of a brief context on how this will marginalize sex workers even more and expose them to unsafe conditions, I quote:
"This crackdown comes at an especially hard time for sex workers. As well as facing criminalisation, discrimination and poor working conditions, they have seen their industry decimated by Covid-19, which has pushed many into poverty and more dangerous work. Victoria Rose, a sex worker who has been using Instagram for five years, calls the platform's new terms "damaging and dangerous to anyone who's trying to sell sexual services."
Rose emphasises the fact that many sex workers are in highly precarious positions during the pandemic and that, "if they're not allowed to advertise online, it could force them to go into [potentially] more dangerous ways of working." When online spaces become hostile, sex workers' lives are put at increased risk. Online spaces are not only important for finding clients, but screening them and sharing safety information with the community; without them, workers are pushed into finding clients through third-parties, or into working on the street, which can put them at increased risk of violence and arrest." by Sophie Hemery
I mean, other than sex worker's conditions, as a shallow perspective: not even emojis?!
I wonder how those new community guidelines are going to mold us as a society. But it seems exclusionary and generates that very same mystery I was exposed to, as a child.
I'm not necessarily surprised about my shadowbanning, but most definitely pissed. I'm not even using the platform to talk about stripping nor OnlyFans anymore, yet, I seem to be flagged by them.
Furthermore, I currently study sexology and produce sex education content. I'm soon-to-be a certified sex coach. Will I make it to promote my new career on the platform? To educate people on it? Improve their sex lives? Teach them about their bodies? Consent? Abuse?
Finally, there's one positive thing; I must say: people will be more interested than ever in sex! On top of it, they will need education and assistance to break down those society-built taboos that will negatively affect their sex lives, hence their quality of life.
I won't lack clients, it seems. I just gotta figure a way for them to get to me.